used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I lost the right to judge tonight
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
