But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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