I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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