let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
