Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
