After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
