Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
