Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.