I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?