How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.