i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I currently don't understand fingers.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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