But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
