She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
