This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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