There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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