Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
