I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize