I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize