My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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