We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
