New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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