Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
