I looked at my own cervix.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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