He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize