i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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