ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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