didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize