Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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