i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
