I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This is the high leading the old right now
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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