barbara walters just said penis...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
