feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
do nipples grow back?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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