I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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