It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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