Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
