went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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