How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it was like eating out sand paper
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
