im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Are we still banned from the library?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
