Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
