I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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