I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
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he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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