He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
