dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
