There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
