But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
