Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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