is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
