Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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