Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We need a shit load of segways right now
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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