all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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