I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
