yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
