Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
