smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
