covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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