I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I will pee on everything he values.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
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There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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