she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
