The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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